Sketche für zwei Personen
| Pupils: |
„Good morning, Mr. Teacher!“ |
| Teacher: |
„Good morning boys. Sit down please. What
about your homework? Well, Christian, where is your
homework, please?“ |
| Christian: |
„Oh, sorry, I left it in the school
bus.“ |
| Teacher: |
„Mmh, well, then -, Jakob, what about
your homework?“ |
| Jakob: |
„Oh, sorry, I left my pencil at school.
So, I couldn’t do my homework.“ |
| Teacher: |
„Mmh, well, Fabian, what about your
homework?“ |
| Fabian: |
„Oh, sorry, I can’t find my
exercise book. Where is my exercise
book?“ |
| Teacher: |
„Mmh, well, Harun, what about your
homework?“ |
| Harun: |
„Oh, sorry, I left my school bag at
school, yesterday.“ I have no
homework.“ |
| Teacher: |
„Ah, well, Sergej, what about your
homework?“ |
| Sergej: |
„Oh, sorry, I’ve lost my pencil
case. I could not write one word at
home.“ |
| Teacher: |
„Ah, well, Alex, what about your
homework?“ |
| Alex: |
„Oh, sorry, it was my sister’s
birthday. So I couldn’t do my homework. |
| Teacher: |
„Ah, well, Viktor, what about your
homework?“ |
| Viktor: |
„Oh, sorry, my Mum always says:
„Clean your room!“ So I couldn’t
do my homework.“ |
| Teacher: |
„Ah, well, Lucas, what about your
homework?“ |
| Lucas: |
„Oh, sorry, my pen was empty. So I
couldn’t write my homework.“ |
| Teacher: |
„Ah, well, Daniel, tell me: What was your
homework for today?“ |
| Daniel: |
„Our homework was this: We had to find a
good excuse, why we have done no
homework.“ |
| James: |
Good evening, Miss Sophie, good evening. |
| Miss Sophie: |
Good evening, James. |
| James: |
You are looking very well this evening, Miss
Sophie. |
| Miss Sophie: |
Well, I am feeling very much better, thank
you, James. |
| James: |
Good, good. |
| Miss Sophie: |
Well, I must say that everything looks
nice. |
| James: |
Thank you very much, Miss Sophie, thank
you. |
| Miss Sophie: |
Is everybody here? |
| James: |
Indeed, they are, yeah. Yes...They are all
here for your anniversary, Miss Sophie. |
| Miss Sophie: |
All five places are laid out? |
| James: |
All laid out as usual. |
| Miss Sophie: |
Sir Toby? |
| James: |
Sir Toby, yes, he's sitting here this year,
Miss Sophie. |
| Miss Sophie: |
Admiral von Schneider? |
| James: |
Admiral von Schneider is sitting here, Miss
Sophie. |
| Miss Sophie: |
Mr. Pommeroy? |
| James: |
Mr. Pommeroy I put round here for you. |
| Miss Sophie: |
And my very dear friend, Mr.
Winterbottom? |
| James: |
On your right, as you requested, Miss
Sophie! |
| Miss Sophie: |
Thank you, James. You may now serve the
soup. |
| James: |
The soup, thank you very much, Miss Sophie,
thank you. They are all waiting for you. Little
drop of mulligatawny soup, Miss Sophie? |
| Miss Sophie: |
I am particularly fond of mulligatawny soup,
James. |
| James: |
Yes, I know you are. |
| Miss Sophie: |
I think we'll have sherry with the soup. |
| James: |
Sherry with the soup, yes... Oh, by the way,
the same procedure as last year, Miss
Sophie? |
| Miss Sophie: |
Same procedure as every year, James. |
| James: |
Same procedure as every year, James... |
| Miss Sophie: |
Is that a dry sherry, James? |
| James: |
Yes, a very dry sherry, Miss Sophie... very
dry. Straight out of the cellar, this morning,
Miss Sophie. |
| Miss Sophie: |
Sir Toby! |
| James: |
Cheerio, Miss Sophie! |
| Miss Sophie: |
Admiral von Schneider! |
| James: |
Ad... Must I say it this year, Miss
Sophie? |
| Miss Sophie: |
Just to please me, James. |
| James: |
Just to please you. Very good, yes, yes...
Skol! |
| Miss Sophie: |
Mr. Pommeroy! |
| James: |
Happy New Year, Sophie! |
| Miss Sophie: |
And dear Mr. Winterbottom! |
| James: |
Well, here we are again, old lovely... |
| Miss Sophie: |
You may now serve the fish. |
| James: |
Fish. Very good, Miss Sophie. Did you enjoy
the soup? |
| Miss Sophie: |
Delicious, James. |
| James: |
Thank you, Miss Sophie, glad you enjoyed it.
Little bit of North Sea haddock, Miss
Sophie. |
| Miss Sophie: |
I think we'll have white wine with the
fish. |
| James: |
White wine with the fish? The same procedure
as last year, Miss Sophie? |
| Miss Sophie: |
The same procedure as every year, James! |
| James: |
Yeah... |
| Miss Sophie: |
Sir Toby! |
| James: |
Cheerio, Miss Sophie, me gal... |
| Miss Sophie: |
Admiral von Schneider! |
| James: |
Oh, must I, Miss Sophie? |
| Miss Sophie: |
James, please, please... |
| James: |
Skol! |
| Miss Sophie: |
Mr. Pommeroy! |
| James: |
Happy New Year, Sophie gal! |
| Miss Sophie: |
Mr. Winterbottom! |
| James: |
You look younger than ever, love! Younger
than ever! Ha, ha, ha... |
| Miss Sophie: |
Please serve the chicken! |
| James: |
Ya ... |
| Miss Sophie: |
That looks a very fine bird! |
| James: |
That's a lovely chu ... chuk ... chicken,
that I'll tell you, a lovely ... |
| Miss Sophie: |
I think we'll have champagne with the
bird! |
| James: |
Champagne, ya... Sssssame, same procedure as
last year, Miss Sophie? |
| Miss Sophie: |
The same procedure as every year, James! |
| James: |
Sophie, me gal ... |
| Miss Sophie: |
Admiral von Schneider! |
| James: |
Must I, Miss Sophie? |
| Miss Sophie: |
James! |
| James: |
Schkolll! |
| Miss Sophie: |
Mr. Pommeroy! |
| James: |
Happy New Year, Sophie, gal... |
| Miss Sophie: |
Mr. Winterbottom! |
| James: |
It's one of the nicest little woman... hic...
one of the nicest little woman, that's ever
breathed, that's ever breathed... I now declare
this bazaar opened! Would you like some
fruit? |
| Miss Sophie: |
I think we'll have port with the fruit! |
| James: |
Oh, ... no! S...ame procedure as last... |
| Miss Sophie: |
Yes, the same procedure as last year,
James! |
| James: |
..............................!!! |
| Miss Sophie: |
Sir Toby! |
| James: |
Sugar in the morning, sugar... |
| Miss Sophie: |
Admiral von Schneider! |
| James: |
Schkolll! |
| Miss Sophie: |
Mr. Pommoroy! |
| James: |
I'm sorry, Madam, sorry. |
| Miss Sophie: |
Mr. Winterbottom! |
| James: |
Huuuhhh, I'll kill that cat! |
| Miss Sophie: |
Well, James, it's been a wonderful
party! |
| James: |
Well, it's been most enjoyable. |
| Miss Sophie: |
I think I'll retire. |
| James: |
You're going to bed? |
| Miss Sophie: |
Yes. |
| James: |
Sit down, I'll give you a hand up,
Madam. |
| Miss Sophie: |
As I was saying, I'll retire... |
| James: |
Ya... ya. By the way, the same procedure as
last year, Miss Sophie? |
| Miss Sophie: |
The same procedure as every year James! |
| James: |
Well, I'll do my very best! |
Deutscher Text
| Operator: |
Thank you for calling Pizza Hut. May I have your … |
| Customer: |
Hi, I'd like to order. |
| Operator: |
May I have your NIDN first, sir? |
| Customer: |
My National ID Number, yeah, hold on, eh, it's 6102049998-45-54610. |
| Operator: |
Thank you, Mr. Sheehan. I see you live at 1752 Meadowland Drive, and the phone number's 494-2399. Your office
number over at Lincoln Insurance is 745-2302 and your cell number's 266-2566. Which number are you calling from,
sir? |
| Customer: |
Huh? I'm at home. Where d'ya get all this information? |
| Operator: |
We're wired into the system, sir. |
| Customer: |
(Sighs) "Oh, well, I'd like to order a couple of your All-Meat Special pizzas … |
| Operator: |
I don't think that's a good idea, sir. |
| Customer: |
Whaddya mean? |
| Operator: |
Sir, your medical records indicate that you've got very high blood pressure and extremely high cholesterol. Your
National Health Care provider won't allow such an unhealthy choice. |
| Customer: |
Dang. What do you recommend, then? |
| Operator: |
You might try our low-fat Soybean Yoghurt Pizza. I'm sure you'll like it. |
| Customer: |
What makes you think I'd like something like that? |
| Operator: |
Well, you checked out 'Gourmet Soybean Recipes' from your local library last week, sir. That's why I made the
suggestion. |
| Customer: |
All right, all right. Give me two family-sized ones, then. What's the damage? |
| Operator: |
That should be plenty for you, your wife and your four kids, sir. The 'damage', as you put it, heh, heh, comes to
$49.99. |
| Customer: |
Lemme give you my credit card number. |
| Operator: |
I'm sorry sir, but I'm afraid you'll have to pay in cash. Your credit card balance is over its limit. |
| Customer: |
I'll run over to the ATM and get some cash before your driver gets here. |
| Operator: |
That won't work either, sir. Your checking account's overdrawn. |
| Customer: |
Never mind. Just send the pizzas. I'll have the cash ready. How long will it take? |
| Operator: |
We're running a little behind, sir. It'll be about 45 minutes, sir. If you're in a hurry you might want to pick
'em up while you're out getting the cash, but carrying pizzas on a motorcycle can be a little awkward. |
| Customer: |
How the heck do you know I'm riding a bike? |
| Operator: |
It says here you're in arrears on your car payments, so your car got repo'ed. But your Harley's paid up, so I
just assumed that you'd be using it. |
| Customer: |
@#%/$@&?#! |
| Operator: |
I'd advise watching your language, sir. You've already got a July 2006 conviction for cussing out a cop. |
| Customer: |
(Speechless) |
| Operator: |
Will there be anything else, sir? |
| Customer: |
No, nothing. Oh, yeah, don't forget the two free liters of Coke your ad says I get with the pizzas. |
| Operator: |
I'm sorry sir, but our ad's exclusionary clause prevents us from offering free soda to diabetics. |
| A: |
Hello, Sir! How goes it you? |
| B: |
Oh, thank you for the afterquestion. |
| A: |
Are you already long here? |
| B: |
No, first a pair days. I'm not out
London. |
| A: |
Thunderweather, that overrushes me, you see
not so out. |
| B: |
That can yes beforecome. But now what other:
My hairs stood to mountains as I the traffic saw.
So much cars gives it here. |
| A: |
You are heavy on the woodway if you believe
that in London horsedroveworks go. |
| B: |
Will we now drink a beer? My throat is
outdried. But look, there is a guesthouse, let us
there man go! |
| A: |
That is a good idea. Equal goes it loose, I
will only my shoeband close. |
| B: |
Here we are. Make me please the door
open. |
| A: |
But there is a beforehangingcastle, the
economy is to. How sorry! Then I will go back to
the hotel, it is already retard. On
againsee! |
| B: |
Oh, yes, I will too go. I must become my
draught to Bristol. Auf Wiedersehen! |
| A: |
Nanu, sie sind Deutscher? |
| B: |
Ja, sie auch? Das wundert mich aber. Ihr
Englisch ist so hervorragend, dass ich es gar
nicht bemerkt habe… |
(a patient comes into the doctor's office)
| Doctor: |
Good day Mr. Meier, which is missing to
them? |
| Patient: |
Ohh, know them I have so terrible fear of
that heart OI. |
| Doctor: |
They do not need to have really no fear, it
can anything pass. |
| Patient: |
Are they also completely safe itself? |
| Doctor: |
Naturally, I accomplished the interference
already 68 times! |
| Patient: |
Then I can hope thus.... |
| Doctor: |
Well, surely sometime it must fold times,
not? |
|
