| Operator: |
Thank you for calling Pizza Hut. May I have your … |
| Customer: |
Hi, I'd like to order. |
| Operator: |
May I have your NIDN first, sir? |
| Customer: |
My National ID Number, yeah, hold on, eh, it's 6102049998-45-54610. |
| Operator: |
Thank you, Mr. Sheehan. I see you live at 1752 Meadowland Drive, and the phone number's 494-2399. Your office
number over at Lincoln Insurance is 745-2302 and your cell number's 266-2566. Which number are you calling from,
sir? |
| Customer: |
Huh? I'm at home. Where d'ya get all this information? |
| Operator: |
We're wired into the system, sir. |
| Customer: |
(Sighs) "Oh, well, I'd like to order a couple of your All-Meat Special pizzas … |
| Operator: |
I don't think that's a good idea, sir. |
| Customer: |
Whaddya mean? |
| Operator: |
Sir, your medical records indicate that you've got very high blood pressure and extremely high cholesterol. Your
National Health Care provider won't allow such an unhealthy choice. |
| Customer: |
Dang. What do you recommend, then? |
| Operator: |
You might try our low-fat Soybean Yoghurt Pizza. I'm sure you'll like it. |
| Customer: |
What makes you think I'd like something like that? |
| Operator: |
Well, you checked out 'Gourmet Soybean Recipes' from your local library last week, sir. That's why I made the
suggestion. |
| Customer: |
All right, all right. Give me two family-sized ones, then. What's the damage? |
| Operator: |
That should be plenty for you, your wife and your four kids, sir. The 'damage', as you put it, heh, heh, comes to
$49.99. |
| Customer: |
Lemme give you my credit card number. |
| Operator: |
I'm sorry sir, but I'm afraid you'll have to pay in cash. Your credit card balance is over its limit. |
| Customer: |
I'll run over to the ATM and get some cash before your driver gets here. |
| Operator: |
That won't work either, sir. Your checking account's overdrawn. |
| Customer: |
Never mind. Just send the pizzas. I'll have the cash ready. How long will it take? |
| Operator: |
We're running a little behind, sir. It'll be about 45 minutes, sir. If you're in a hurry you might want to pick
'em up while you're out getting the cash, but carrying pizzas on a motorcycle can be a little awkward. |
| Customer: |
How the heck do you know I'm riding a bike? |
| Operator: |
It says here you're in arrears on your car payments, so your car got repo'ed. But your Harley's paid up, so I
just assumed that you'd be using it. |
| Customer: |
@#%/$@&?#! |
| Operator: |
I'd advise watching your language, sir. You've already got a July 2006 conviction for cussing out a cop. |
| Customer: |
(Speechless) |
| Operator: |
Will there be anything else, sir? |
| Customer: |
No, nothing. Oh, yeah, don't forget the two free liters of Coke your ad says I get with the pizzas. |
| Operator: |
I'm sorry sir, but our ad's exclusionary clause prevents us from offering free soda to diabetics. |
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